Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Give Me Jesus

My friend, H, had her baby boy sometime in the last 24 hours. I found out on fac.ebook.

H's baby was due at the same time Romeo Gerard would have been born. I love her dearly, and I'm thankful the birth went (apparently) smoothly.

I just don't know what to feel. I feel sad; I miss RG. I wish he were being born. I feel blessed; my womb is not empty. I feel joyful; her baby is safe, he is born, and I'm sure he's just darling. I feel afraid; please, God, let this new baby live. I don't know if I can do it again. I feel guilty; I don't want the birth of her baby to be clouded by my sadness. I feel embarrassed; I'm crying at work and I want to go home. I feel emotionally exhausted and confused.

Right now, I just need the Lord. I need Him to walk with me, and help me to get through this day.
Give me Jesus.



4 comments:

  1. The title of your post immediately made me think of this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he32vwlKQPY

    And then, I read the words and thought it fit even more.

    Praying for you today, asking your sweet Romeo Gerard to intercede for you as well.

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  2. Thank you, Rebecca, for sharing that song with me. I know, I'm not home yet, and I just hope, by God's grace to get there so I can hold my little one. It's such motivation to live a holy life!

    In the mean time, I'm hoping that RG is welcoming to heaven all those little souls who die through abortion, and showing them the face of God.

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  3. Emotions are such complicated things! Praying for you today that Jesus gives you abundant peace.

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  4. I so appreciate your honesty and completely understand that crazy range of feelings!

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