Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Give Me Jesus

My friend, H, had her baby boy sometime in the last 24 hours. I found out on fac.ebook.

H's baby was due at the same time Romeo Gerard would have been born. I love her dearly, and I'm thankful the birth went (apparently) smoothly.

I just don't know what to feel. I feel sad; I miss RG. I wish he were being born. I feel blessed; my womb is not empty. I feel joyful; her baby is safe, he is born, and I'm sure he's just darling. I feel afraid; please, God, let this new baby live. I don't know if I can do it again. I feel guilty; I don't want the birth of her baby to be clouded by my sadness. I feel embarrassed; I'm crying at work and I want to go home. I feel emotionally exhausted and confused.

Right now, I just need the Lord. I need Him to walk with me, and help me to get through this day.
Give me Jesus.


  1. The title of your post immediately made me think of this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he32vwlKQPY

    And then, I read the words and thought it fit even more.

    Praying for you today, asking your sweet Romeo Gerard to intercede for you as well.

  2. Thank you, Rebecca, for sharing that song with me. I know, I'm not home yet, and I just hope, by God's grace to get there so I can hold my little one. It's such motivation to live a holy life!

    In the mean time, I'm hoping that RG is welcoming to heaven all those little souls who die through abortion, and showing them the face of God.

  3. Emotions are such complicated things! Praying for you today that Jesus gives you abundant peace.

  4. I so appreciate your honesty and completely understand that crazy range of feelings!


Thank you for reading. What are your thoughts? (You will be redirected to a sign in page. Sign in, and the page will come back here)