H's baby was due at the same time Romeo Gerard would have been born. I love her dearly, and I'm thankful the birth went (apparently) smoothly.
I just don't know what to feel. I feel sad; I miss RG. I wish he were being born. I feel blessed; my womb is not empty. I feel joyful; her baby is safe, he is born, and I'm sure he's just darling. I feel afraid; please, God, let this new baby live. I don't know if I can do it again. I feel guilty; I don't want the birth of her baby to be clouded by my sadness. I feel embarrassed; I'm crying at work and I want to go home. I feel emotionally exhausted and confused.
Right now, I just need the Lord. I need Him to walk with me, and help me to get through this day.
Give me Jesus.