Thursday, September 12, 2013

What He's Really Saying is...

..."Let Me make this work for you. Trust Me to make it work."

When we were discerning how late into the year we would keep trying and being open to life, we decided that if we were really to trust that God could take care of us, we couldn't worry about a baby being born right when my program started, or any time of the year. We decided that if we stopped being open to life, for fear of that intersection, we'd be showing a lack of trust in what the Lord could do and in the fact that His will is perfect. And, obviously, after the death of our baby, how could we act like we had control over the gift of life? We decided to give God the power, and out of all the times we tried, all the failed cycles, all the times I was supposed to have ovulated--and didn't--the Lord blessed us with this little girl, just in time for my program to start.

And now, He's saying to me, "Yes, she's going to be a week late. You're not in charge, I am. Remind yourself of My sovereignty. Remember My faithfulness. I will not abandon you."

And what I need to say is, simply, "FIAT."

If He doesn't will her to come before then, I'm scheduled to be induced on Monday afternoon (9/16). That means she will likely be born on Tuesday. And that means I'll be showing up to orientation with books and laptop on my back, and less-than-one-week-old-baby on my front. And you know what?

I can think of worse things.

You know what the strangest thing is? Our God asks us to do hard things. He asks us to look like fools to our fellow men. He asks us to exhaust ourselves for His sake. He asks us to witness at all costs. And I'm feeling a new positivity and peace in that. It's not just the relief of "letting go, and letting God." It's the peace that passes understanding. It's the peace of fiat.


  1. What a great perspective to have! I will be praying for a safe delivery for you! Can't wait for you to meet your baby girl :)

  2. So beautiful. "Peace that passes understanding" - so true.

    Continue prayers for you as you await your little girl's arrival :).

  3. She will be the best back-to-school supplies you have ever gotten!! :) I can't wait to "meet" her. Prayers, and more prayers for you and babe!! There are 2 big feast days this weekend - 9/14 Feast of the Triumph of the Holy Cross and 9/15 Our Lady of Sorrows. Maybe she is waiting for one of them! ;) My husband's birthday is 9/14, so I am partial to that one. :)

  4. Continued prayers as you wait to meet your little one.

  5. Thank you all for your prayers! Really, it means so much to me.

    M, there are some awesome feast days coming up, so the little one will have a great celebration no matter when she comes. My hubby and I were married on the Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross, so tomorrow wouldn't be such a bad anniversary! As it looks now, she'll probably be born on the feast day of St. Robert Bellarmine, which isn't such a bad option! :)


Thank you for reading. What are your thoughts? (You will be redirected to a sign in page. Sign in, and the page will come back here)